Sunday, June 29, 2014

Life, Love, Turning 41 & what really matters....

So, I turned 41 this week.  It is an awkward age.  40 seems to be the year everyone expects you to celebrate, 41 not so much.  To me, it feels like the beginning of the second act.  I guess that is good and bad - the second act is always much more exciting, as if I could stand any more "excitement..."  41 also marks the beginning of the end of a few terrible chapters of my life, so that is excellent.  The older you get, the more one reflects on what really matters.  I know for me it has taken a few kick's in the but to put me in the correct direction.  Those kicks have mainly come from Carlo, the one who keeps me grounded and one of the few people who were there for me at my darkest moments.  If there was ever anyone who ended up riding the bus once the Limo broke down, that is him.

He has got to be one of the most grounded, intelligent and perceptive people I know.  Leave it to him to let me know when I have fucked up, somehow always guiding me along the correct path. Carlo has put it all in perspective for me about what really matters after 40.  Its not fancy things, expensive dinners and big homes, its about family. Up until a few years ago, family was admittedly not the most important thing in my life. I had somehow lost my way and not realized that even though family is always there you must work on those relationships.  It is like a garden that needs water and care to grow.  These things just don't grow on their own.

I am proud to say that I have grown much closer to my Brother in recent years.  We finally see eye to eye and he now realizes how very proud I am of his immense accomplishments.  We have even begun to "hang out" on a regular basis.  Carlo and I ventured to Laguna Beach just a few weeks ago for dinner, drinks and a walk on the beach.  I love being able to talk to him about his most current project, his amazing gardening and his intense spirituality among other things  I am so proud of my Brother and his Girlfriend Conor and honored to have them as such an important part of our lives.  I look forward to having them both be an integral part of the next 41 years!

The most important part of our family is my Mom.  My Mom has always been there for us, through thick and thin.  Truly no matter what the issue she has always been there to lend a hand, or an ear....  Doing her best to not be too judgmental and never afraid to express her opinion.  I don't say it enough but I certainly admire and look up to her for her strength and character, her sense of adventure, her determination, her sense of humor and her business acumen.  She is beautiful beyond description and ages like a fine wine, only getting better.  When I get angry or upset and take it out on her, she just smiles and lets it roll off her back - an amazing trait in anyone. When people ask who my hero is or who I look up to, I no longer need to hesitate because the answer will always be her....  My Mom.  

The smiles in this photo tell the true story of love....

So, that is what 41 looks like...  Life, Love & family...  It's what really matters and sometimes we need a gentle (or more than gentle) push in the right direction because at the end of the day it's all we have.

My actual Birthday itself this year was filled with love and family.  Who in the world would drive 80 miles round trip to deliver flowers to me at work....  Carlo....  The love of my life.  He cooked me an amazing dinner and even baked a cake.  Honestly I had to dig through the trash because I had no idea he could bake a cake from scratch.  As you can see from the picture, I had the biggest genuine smile I've had in years.  Life just couldn't get any better at that moment... 

I still continue to work out 4 days a week.  Eating healthy and growing stronger and bigger (in the right way) every day.  In the last 2 months I am proud to say I have lost 3 inches in my waist, and have grown my arms from 14 inches to 16 inches - a huge accomplishment for me.  My BMI has come down, and my weight is steadily dropping as well.  I am very excited as to what the future brings, and if this is 41, I think I will take it!

So, from my love Carlo and myself - until next time!

Dont forget to check out my YouTube channel.   Much more music coming in the weeks ahead!!  And also, check out Carlo's amazing new website showcasing his amazing photography.  So very proud his pictures are so beautiful.

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